Discovering God’s blueprint of who we bring to relationships
Each of us has been designed uniquely by our Creator. As the architect of a house creates a plan, so too, God the Master Architect has a blueprint in His heart for us. Whether we’re married or not, He invites us to trust His wisdom and love to guide us in the hard but worthwhile risk of becoming ourselves.
How do we see ourselves? What dreams do we carry for our relationships? Advertising is often drawing us to products with false images of what we could be. Many of us eat or drink etc. to dull a painful reality and avoid facing it, and our culture generally only wants to hear the nice things. Do we slavishly follow their leading, or do risk the harder journey of choosing to listen to our unique selves?
So often we disregard the blueprint of our true selves, the internal dreams of what we’re meant to be, given to us by our loving Creator. We get sidetracked by misleading ideas, constantly using others as a reference point to give us validation. We end up tacking bits and pieces onto our personality that weren’t designed to be there. Our lives are very precious. Something needs to draw us back to our core. Saying, “This is me”, will be hard initially. We may feel exposed, and fear some people’s rejection, but we will feel more authentic and alive as we stop trying to keep up an illusion.
Essential in this work are trusted role models and true friends. In love, they can hold up a mirror and say, “Why aren’t you more yourself?” helping to give us a sense of what we need to be doing at this point in time. We need to stop being beholden to how others see us. If we remain people-pleasers, we lose ourselves in no time. As we learn to love ourselves irrespective of anyone else, we will find that our facades come down. It’s not that we disregard others, but we’re taking ourselves seriously, moving into a space to become more integrated. We will find that others will want to know how we got the courage to be ourselves – able to be alone, and also part of a supportive community.
The pain of this tough journey called Life is in us all. Like with the building of a house, it is hard work to build a self. Thankfully, we aren’t alone. God is longing to encourage us in this important work. We can be grateful that deep within us He has placed an incredible blueprint that we are learning to recognise.