The patterns and roles we learnt from our upbringing have shaped each of us. These memories will hold us captive unless we make time to look at them.
These inner dynamics seem so ‘normal’ that we hardly realise they are there. We polish up our outer world to look good because we don’t know what to do with how we really think and feel on the inside.
It is very helpful to look at the daily patterns that happened around our table as we grew up. This involves becoming aware of our family’s particular power dynamics that were played out there. Around that table we can now see our family’s rules, their ideals, their levels of indulgence, and their respect or disrespect for people. By noticing these, we gain insight into why we currently think and feel the way we do.
Have we shifted from what was the norm in the past or do we hold as sacrosanct the way things were done?
How do you balance power when you feel an imbalance in your relationships? Much of what was done with good intentions in our family focused on our exterior self and left us unsure about being our true selves.
Either we react against our earlier programming, or we woodenly repeat it. Neither way is helpful.
With honest and loving awareness, we can examine our family’s patterns and take what was wholesome from our past. We can start to make new, life-giving choices and become more authentic to our real selves.