Shame is a punch to stomach; it blinds us to the truth, it seeks to isolate us. As we walk with God and others who love us, we receive His healing.

It is our ongoing life work to become aware of the different beliefs we carry in each part of ourselves – in our mind, body, heart, soul and spirit – because it is from out of our beliefs that our behaviour comes.

Shame, something we are all so familiar with, distorts what we believe to be the truth about ourselves. As a very powerful social manipulator, it is often used to get people to comply, to put others in their place and to adjust their behaviour. But shaming casts a shadow across our feelings of self-worth and leaves us feeling less, with doubt that we are enough. If we let it hook us like velcro we are left feeling exposed, guilty and inadequate. As it lingers and disturbs us inside, it has power to silence our voice and to isolate us profoundly.

The reason that we are so hurt and shocked by it is that shaming often comes at us unexpectedly. But we need to see that this common form of abuse usually comes from people with an issue, those with a damaged sense of self-worth. We don’t need to make our behaviour dependent on someone else’s. We can refuse to believe the lie that the other is trying to put on us, or to let the shaming stick. It may well still feel like a stomach punch, but we don’t need to crumple under it.

As we release the hook that shame has caught us with, maybe through speaking to trusted, loving friends about it, and grieving the hurt, we can disempower it. God sees us with all our inadequacies but does not reject us for our imperfections. He never uses shame to get us to change. Instead He keeps us connected to Him and in the warmth of His love we are encouraged, and enabled to find healing where we are broken.