Most of us have been brought up to please others, often at the expense of our real feelings. Within us all lies our deepest fear, that of rejection. We know all to well what our society sees as acceptable and what is deemed unacceptable. This can cause us to play a game to fit in at all costs.
Each of us has a unique pattern of relating that we’ve developed in order to cope, to feel we belong. For example, we may be submissive and defended, pulling back from sharing who we really are, and choosing to assert our anger passively. Or we might do the opposite and be aggressive and act defensively.
Can we come to a place where we neither pull back from speaking our truth, nor push against others destructively, but simply stand our ground? In a safe context we will need to explore and practice other patterns from our habitual ones. If our tendency is to withdraw can we move forward? If we tend to jump in can we listen to others’ voices as well as our own? Thus we can learn that we don’t need to allow ourselves to be domineered or to dominate others. We can come to a healthy place where even though it may initially feel uncomfortable, we are free to simply speak our truth as it is.