We all so need real connection to others through the eyes. It is in the simple act of seeing and being seen that a profound transaction of life happens. If we do not receive this from anyone, we can become relationally anorexic as our sense of self is not fed.
Our core need as humans is to love and be loved. Since we need this so much, we may find ourselves going about it in a roundabout way, manipulating relationships in order to get our needs met. We may, for example, give to another, simply because we hope to get back from them what we are longing for. We may try to have our hunger met in undercover ways by saying something obtuse, but often people don’t think to give it back to us. Continue reading Our Quest to have Needs Met→
To be human is to have needs and the place where they’re nourished and restored is in relationships. However, if we’ve been hurt or disappointed, we may shut down and try the route of independence, saying, “I don’t need you.” Life and growth are always a risk and always involve an opening of ourselves to parts we might not yet be familiar with. But if we choose not to take this path, we will deaden and stagnate, our inner reality will shrink. Continue reading Needs Draw Us to Life→
Our needs change through our different life stages as we grow and mature. The needs we have as children or teens should develop with us as we get older. Our awareness of our different needs will help us not to go to the wrong places to have them fulfilled. For example, when we think we can satisfy our real hunger for good food with just snacks, we’ve gone to the wrong place. In the same way, we must see in what ways we may be going to inappropriate places to satisfy our real need for love and touch. Continue reading Right Needs, Wrong Means→