Sometimes our hardest task is to release those who have hurt us. Yet, it is one of the most profound aspects of being a life giver. We may have said the words, “I forgive you.”, but still feel resentment in our hearts. Events can have an immense afterlife and we can can hold onto them in order to hurt back in some way later.

Frequently our greatest hurts come from those closest to us and that’s why they feel like our greatest betrayals. It causes us immense sadness if our pain means little to another, and if we’ve tried to explain things from our perspective, yet it came to nothing. It often shocks us to realise how differently others have understood what has happened between us. But we dare not leave our inner healing dependent on another’s response. They always see things as they themselves are, and may never shift and do what’s ‘right’ for us. We dare not carry the weight of unfinished business longer than necessary. That’s why Jesus urges us to forgive and gives us His example on the cross.

Hurts in relationship are like deaths – some bigger than others – but all needing grief work. As we take authority for the healing of our pain we will gain skill in navigating other hurtful situations. Forgiveness is God’s key to teach us ongoing dependence on Him to help us to release others. As we ourselves walk in freedom, we become more like Him – giving life to others along our way.