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Category Archives: Talks
Our Mother’s Moulding
Understanding our mom’s past brings clarity and compassion to our own story
In order for each of us to become our own person we need to leave our mother’s force field. Co-dependence with her is easy and good as a starting point, but it’s not a good ending point.
To help young men and women with this journey to self-hood, many cultures have rituals which are significant both for the mother and her child. For us in the West, often all we get when we turn 21 is a key that doesn’t fit anywhere or open anything. For us it’s an ongoing process of learning to trust our way of seeing instead of always deferring to our mother’s opinion. This isn’t an easy shift as, for many of our growing years, her well-intentioned choices decided how we should behave in ways she felt were socially appropriate. We often conformed without question simply for fear of rejection or being ostracized. Continue reading Our Mother’s Moulding
Do We Really Want to Change?
Looking at the patterns of identity we’ve learned from our father
Most often, when we define ourselves, we think of our material successes as if our inherent worth is measured by the amount of money we have. If we find our identity in many external things – what we own, what people think of us, who we aspire to be like – then our true identity is stolen from us. Continue reading Do We Really Want to Change?
True to Our Self?
Learning to value ourselves for who we really are, not by what we achieve
Most of our lives we’ve been formed around learning not to trust ourselves. “Not your way…This is the way,” is what we have been told. We may have been compliant as children and obeyed, or reactive, doing the opposite. But with both ways we were still reacting to the same external reference point.
It’s a risky business becoming more authentic, letting go of things that no longer fit us and following the things that give us life. Continue reading True to Our Self?
Being Men
Our commitment to self
In growing up people around us either saw us truly, as we were, or they just didn’t ‘get us’. Many of us felt unseen, unloved and not enough. We felt measured and were found wanting. This has profoundly affected the way we see ourselves today. Our fear of not being ‘OK’ to those around us makes us hide our real and precious selves.
How much do I trust and believe in myself?
Marriage Insights: Life-giving Marriage
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Our Brokenness is Our Gift
Our unresolved issues live within us and affect our ability to relate. If we challenge some of our formative assumptions it’ll change how we respond now. Continue reading Our Brokenness is Our Gift
Knowing and Seeing
When we think we know someone we often stop ‘seeing’ them. They become part of our landscape of daily activities and we don’t realise that they are always growing and changing. Continue reading Knowing and Seeing
Intuitive Knowing
There are many ways of knowing. In this session Sergio Milandri introduces the topic of intuitive knowledge. We often think of knowing as a mental process, a rational grasp on things. Emotional ‘knowledge’ is also a powerful part of our lives, but can dominate us if feelings like fear, anger and loss aren’t kept in check. In this third Sans Pareil Session, Sergio explores the role of gut-feel and intuition in our lives.