Tag Archives: Relationship

8 May – Sans Pareil Session: Moving to Self-Acceptance

When our dreams for ourselves get lost, we may well become hard on ourselves and on others who can’t live up to the images we carry. In our next Session we’ll explore the movement from disillusion to self-acceptance, and from self-loathing to self-loving.

Date: 8 May 2017. These Sessions take place on most Monday evenings.
Times: From 6 until 7 pm we’ll have a bring-and-share meal as a group in the Sans Pareil barn. From 7:15 for 7:30 pm until 9 pm Sergio will lead us in our core teaching, reflection, discussion and exercise times. Coffee and tea will be available afterwards.
Address: Sans Pareil, 1 Welbevind Way, Hout Bay, Cape Town.
Cost: R100 per person, paid at the door. Discounts are available if needed. No booking is required.
Extras: For the meal, please bring a plate for mains (not dessert) and a drink to share. Please bring a dish that doesn’t need to be heated.

Sign up to our newsletter or ‘Like’ our Facebook Page for event news.

The Quality of Our Connections

All of us have been taught how to be skilled in our profession, yet for the most part we haven’t perfected the most important art – the one for which we were all created – that is how to really connect in love with others. In essence we are all creatures of relationship and we need to be and to assert our real selves with conviction. Continue reading The Quality of Our Connections

Can we express our real selves to each other?

Most of us have been brought up to please others, often at the expense of our real feelings. Within us all lies our deepest fear, that of rejection. We know all to well what our society sees as acceptable and what is deemed unacceptable. This can cause us to play a game to fit in at all costs.  Continue reading Can we express our real selves to each other?

How to get to know all the parts of yourself

By relating with others we get a fuller picture of ourselves

It is in our relationships that our patterns of relating become apparent. We see more of who we are through others.

For many of us our relationships are our greatest gift, yet they are also areas of our greatest pain. In order for them to be life-giving we need to put our best energy into them.

As we all know, each relationship is unique and has its own particular ‘chemistry’.  Continue reading How to get to know all the parts of yourself

Feel the Fear and Give it Containment

Often we identify with the feelings we have and make them so part of our identity that we can’t separate from them.  We say, for example, ‘I am angry,’ or ‘I am fearful,’ instead of, ‘Sometimes I experience anger or fear.’  We shape our thoughts, and receive them from others, but we are not our thoughts and feelings.  We need to take responsibility for every feeling.  They should not be our masters, but be our servants.

We often associate with having fear negatively.  We see it as something that we need to control and get rid of.  But all our feelings, including fear, are important messengers.  Continue reading Feel the Fear and Give it Containment

Dreams We Carry

Negotiating expectations in relationships

Growing up too compliant and obedient can undermine our need to become a separate person. If we’ve had to ‘be this…’ then it means we haven’t become our true selves. This attraction to sameness in order to be accepted is a trap and each of us has to take the risk of becoming our authentic self, trusting that we will still be liked. Like an acorn that has within it the complete blueprint of a massive tree, so too we carry the amazing design God has put in us. We can trust that this picture in us is good and life-giving. Continue reading Dreams We Carry

Carriers of a Dream

Discovering God’s blueprint of who we bring to relationships

Each of us has been designed uniquely by our Creator. As the architect of a house creates a plan, so too, God the Master Architect has a blueprint in His heart for us. Whether we’re married or not, He invites us to trust His wisdom and love to guide us in the hard but worthwhile risk of becoming ourselves. Continue reading Carriers of a Dream

Right Needs, Wrong Means

Our needs change through our different life stages as we grow and mature. The needs we have as children or teens should develop with us as we get older. Our awareness of our different needs will help us not to go to the wrong places to have them fulfilled. For example, when we think we can satisfy our real hunger for good food with just snacks, we’ve gone to the wrong place. In the same way, we must see in what ways we may be going to inappropriate places to satisfy our real need for love and touch. Continue reading Right Needs, Wrong Means

To Please or Not to Please, That is the Question

A reflection on our upbringing and God’s invitation to exuberant life

Our attraction to each other is fundamental to our common humanity. We are born with a natural curiosity. Our urge to explore helps us to keep deepening our knowledge of the other. This desire to discover is so important for our sexuality, which, when appropriate, gives us a deep sense of connection. Continue reading To Please or Not to Please, That is the Question