Every venture of life involves our moving from a known reality and security to an unknown one over which we don’t have control. This always causes apprehension to rise in us as this movement involves taking a risk – whether it is in learning a new skill, being in a relationship, having faith in God, doing your work, going on a new adventure, even just living. But if we don’t take the risk we will lose ourselves. Continue reading Anxiety is the driver pushing us forward to learn, grow, change
All posts by Sergio Milandri
Find me if you can!
We all know the feelings we got as we played hide and seek, and waited to be found. Games we play all carry levels of anxiety, as do all other creative risks we take in life. Continue reading Find me if you can!
Social Media and Relationships – Sergio Milandri
How does Social Media meet your Relationship Needs?
Sergio establishes some core needs of a relationship and then asks how these are met in the new relating space of social media.
Be
We all know the freedom with which a child draws something. Before knowing others judgement young children have no belief that what they create is somehow not okay.
Follow the formation of that same child into their school years and we see them change in their confident spontaneity. They start believing that they can’t draw. In an atmosphere of unrealistic expectations they feel unsafe to freely create and experience heightened anxiety when asked to perform. Continue reading Be
Where do our choices around fear take us?
When I (Sergio) was at Wits in the 70s I remember being amazed at what one lecturer told us one rainy day. He explained that raindrops falling on the North side of our roof flowed down into the Braamfontein spruit, on into the Jukskei River, then into the Limpopo River, around the (then) Transvaal, through Mozambique, and ended up in the Indian Ocean. But the rain that fell on the South side of the roof flowed down into the Vaal River, on into the Orange River and ended up in the Atlantic Ocean. Two very different destinations! I hadn’t remembered it since then and the Holy Spirit just brought it to mind again in our choices around fear.
Continue reading Where do our choices around fear take us?
Come and Experience Manhood
Join Sergio for a FAMSA Winter School 2016 Workshop
Engaging with the Journey of Masculine Identity
Both men and women need to experience something of the male journey of identity if they are to engage relationally with the male psyche. Men need to engage with the risks that constitute the development of a male self. Witnessing this transition is crucial for women as they engage with masculinity; whether in their own upbringing, their relationships with men or their forming of boys and younger men in their sphere of influence.
This workshop aims to give practical guidelines in transforming the masculine developmental experience.
Date: 8 July 2016
Time: 09:00-16:00
Cost: R700.00 per person
CPD: Will be applied with SACSSP & HPCSA
For more information, read the full workshop description.
Bookings can be made directly on the FAMSA website.
Setting Sail: Trusting Our Inner Compass
A compass on a steel yacht would be misleading if there weren’t magnets to keep it reading true. Those who sail need to be able to know that they can trust the direction the compass is showing them. Each compass needs to be swung, for if it’s incorrect by even 5°, it’ll mean sailors are really ‘at sea’, ending up where they didn’t want to be.
Like a compass that’s trying to tell us where to head, so our emotions are trying to communicate with us. We can’t just assume the compass is right though. Neither can we automatically assume that what our fear is telling us to do is correct. Our fears sometimes need to be recalibrated so we can trust them to give us good life direction. Continue reading Setting Sail: Trusting Our Inner Compass
Habitual Fear
In nature, creatures never try to be something else, but live simply, fully themselves. If there’s actual danger, they react with legitimate fear, but once it has passed, they relax. How would it be if we could rediscover what has been taken from us and live this freely? Continue reading Habitual Fear
Revisiting Our Childhood Fears
Most of our childhood fears were learned from our parents. Today, we can explore past assumptions and embrace the gift of healthy fear.
We learned to fear as children
A baby is born with only two fears: that of falling and of loud noises, but all of us now carry many different fears in our bodies. These we’ve learnt from others as they tried to shape our behaviour, but which more often just hampered our natural learning. Continue reading Revisiting Our Childhood Fears
Good expressions of anger
Knowing when to assert and when to yield
The first word breathed into our being was God’s, “BE”. Each of us was made with so much love and intentionality. God now looks at each of us with joy and says, “Be fully your unique self”, “Step by step become more yourself” and, “Be not afraid”. We need to take His word in for it to become flesh in us. So when God says, “Be angry, but sin not” He’s aware of the enormous potential we carry. We more often see anger as a slippery slope but God sees that our authentic anger can be transformative. Continue reading Good expressions of anger