Outer Life – Inner Life .. Where are we living?
All posts by Sergio Milandri
Playing the full spectrum of our emotions
If we were learning to master the piano, we’d miss a lot if we only played in one section. Like with us, a piano only comes into it’s full expression when the high and low notes are in partnership.
We are needing to be aware of the interplay between our outer and inner worlds. Each influences the other, whether we realise it or not. Continue reading Playing the full spectrum of our emotions
Sans Pareil Sessions
Monday Night Meeting – 9 April 2018
Sergio Milandri will lead the meeting. There are typically times of input, personal reflection, and sharing in pairs (or as a group).
Date: 9 April 2018. These meetings take place on most Monday evenings.
Times: From 6:15 for 6:30 pm we’ll have a bring-and-share meal in the Sans Pareil barn. From 7:15 for 7:30 pm until 9 pm we have our core teaching, reflection, discussion and exercise times.
Coffee and tea are available.
Address: Sans Pareil, 1 Welbevind Way, Hout Bay, Cape Town.
Cost: R100 per person, paid at the door. Discounts are available if needed. No booking required.
Extras: For the meal, please bring a plate to share (not dessert) and a drink to share. Please bring a dish that doesn’t need to be heated.
Matching the horses on our wagon – Integrating the spiritual and physical realities
The importance of a well-matched pair
I (Elizabeth) love the stories of my great grandfather who ran a wagon-making business in Wagenmakersvallei (now Wellington, W Cape). It was from this village that people continued by wagon over the mountains into the interior. Together with the high quality of the carriages, he was also strict with the pairing of his horses to pull the wagons. He was meticulous at matching the strength and personality of each pair. For once, a mis-matched pair had pulled unevenly, overturning the carriage, causing my great-grandmother to miscarry.
Integrating the spiritual and physical realities
Our two realities, the seen and unseen, are like these horses. They are meant to pull together seamlessly, but all too often don’t. We over-drive our physical reality and leave undeveloped and neglected our spiritual one. Instead of being in sync, this disconnection causes us to ‘pull’ in unhelpful directions. We see this when we focus mainly on succeeding in our work arena to the detriment of our family’s well-being, causing grave harm. Or, when we say we believe that relationships are important yet in actuality have them last on our ‘to do’ list.
Slowing down so we can hear our inner drivers
Jesus wants us to find increasing cohesion and integration. If we slow down and stop the gallop of our known world, and create spaces where we are really still with God, we can nurture sensitivity to that unseen and often neglected reality inside us. Within, we find emotions that are taking us along a particular path. We have made assumptions about life that drive those emotions and carry unquestioned beliefs that we hold fast to.
Finding healing in the light of God’s love
If we, with Jesus, can gently see where our emotions lead us, we will come to understand better what causes us to choose the behaviour that we do. We can help the healing of those parts of ourselves as we own and acknowledge them in the light of God’s love. We will find joy as we sense ourselves coming to journey through life in a more integrated, connected way – and like with those horses, enjoy the ride so much more!
Accepting parts of ourselves that ‘don’t work’ can enable us to have better relationships
There are parts of ourselves we like, and parts of ourselves we avoid
All of us are at home with the parts of ourselves that we like. These we elevate and present to the world. Yet this is not all of who we are. We often don’t have a good relationship with the parts that ‘don’t work’, and have separated some places into ‘No-Go’ zones. So, in order to cope with our lives, we don’t embrace some of our painful emotions that are not working so well in us – like our fear, remorse, guilt. We find it hard to appreciate those unlovely places. We might fill our empty spaces with noise and obligations so that these emotions get quietened or at least pushed down again. For we do not feel comfortable with our powerless feelings.
Continue reading Accepting parts of ourselves that ‘don’t work’ can enable us to have better relationships
Shame
Our feelings are accurate gauges of what is going on inside. They are there to inform us of our inner reality so we can become more aware. We’ve all experienced being demeaned, unfairly judged, and put down – some, way more than others. Indeed, if used too much against us, shaming can seriously damage our self-worth, Continue reading Shame
Walking in Freedom from Guilt
When we were young, it was easy for our rule-keepers to make us feel guilty for something we did. With our tender consciousness, we were susceptible to taking on a belief that in some way or other we were not okay. Instead of simply learning a healthy response of acknowledging and asking forgiveness for a misstep, we might have been left feeling overwhelmed and condemned. The negative side of guilt is that it so easily left us with a shade of unworthiness.
Continue reading Walking in Freedom from Guilt
Pruned to bear more fruit
In our garden is a vine that was planted by others long ago. As we opened up the overgrowth, we discovered more and more of it trailing through the branches. Its stem was thick and strong, but its outgrowth gave no fruit. It had become rank and unproductive.
Often our lives parallel this. God wants us to be fruitful, but our trailing thought patterns around regret of things that have happened leave us overgrown and unfruitful. Continue reading Pruned to bear more fruit
“Cast your nets on the other side” – Easter Friday Retreat
30 March 2018 – Easter Friday Retreat, 12-3 pm
Jesus calls us to do the ‘other’. When the disciples cast their nets on the other side as Jesus’ requested, the catch was abundant. Continue reading “Cast your nets on the other side” – Easter Friday Retreat
Stress Management Workshop with Sergio Milandri- Saturday 17 Mar
Stress deforms or transforms
Stress is part of our lives, but it needn’t be overwhelming. There are tools for responding to life’s challenges well. Sergio Milandri is an experienced relationship mentor who will teach on:
- What is stress?
- Why stress can be creative
- How to avoid destructive stress
Date: 17 March 2018
Time: 9 am – 4 pm
Bring: a packed lunch and loose clothing to move in!
Address: ‘Sans Pareil’, 1 Welbevind Way (off Valley Rd near World of Birds)
Email: sergio@relating.com
Call: 021 790 1308
Visit our website and purchase a ticket to confirm your attendance at Sans Pareil in Hout Bay.
We hope to record the workshop for future distribution. We’ll plan for future meetings based on the need for more work with this topic.