Where do our angry responses originate? Our eruptions are an outflow of what we’re already carrying inside ourselves. We’ve each formed habits of trying to manage our reality when we’re pushed out of shape, and these patterns which we typically used formed around our early experiences. The feelings we had when there was a power imbalance when we were little are still with us, and are part of our identity. So when something comes up that doesn’t sit well with us, we will follow our usual tendency of either withdrawing or moving towards the situation. Continue reading Firming up the marshes, breaking down the rocks, on the road to life-giving anger
Our fundamental need as people is to be seen. From the start we were fed our identity through others’ eyes. If we were seen, we came alive. If we were not seen, or were seen critically, we were damaged or wounded and felt like we were a shadow and didn’t exist. As we grew, the receptivity in another’s eyes was so important, as it launched us, shaped us, gave us a sense of who we were. Continue reading Being Seen in Full Measure
Leaving ‘survival mode’ and celebrating who we are
Unless we’ve become free of it, each of us continues to measure ourselves every day. It’s almost as if we’ve swallowed an inner measuring tape by which we constantly check ourselves with questions like, “Have I done enough?”, “Am I clever enough?” or “Have I met their expectations?”. This inner tyrant drives us to keep proving we’re enough. But constant judgement is waiting to fall! Continue reading Finding Enough
Our mother’s role in learning to trust ourselves
Our ability to relate is a learnt skill and all our lives we continue this journey of learning to relate. Our mother’s womb was a special place, a perfect environment where all our physical needs were met. Though we were tiny we read her emotional force field very well. When we registered negative emotions we developed patterns about our own ability to trust ourselves and the world around us.
Continue reading Finding Healing for What We have Received
We make our biggest decisions between the ages of fifteen to twenty five and spend the rest of our lives living with the results of these choices. This is the time we choose what life work we’ll do, and which socio-economic group and relationships we want. Continue reading I Will Start Living Fully When…
Sergio speaks about our sexuality as integral to our whole identity, drawing us to connect with one another. We explore commitment, boundaries, needs and gifts as we share life in long-term relationships.