Tag Archives: patterns

Life Without Conditions

Risking taking off our training wheels

We can hardly imagine our lives without conditions. Even though they keep us bound, we feel that at least we know and can more or less predict an outcome. For, “if we do this…then that will happen.”

What pattern do we tend to use to get ourselves to perform in a certain way? Do we have high expectations so are hard on ourselves if we don’t reach them? Continue reading Life Without Conditions

Why do we do what we do?

Just like when snow blankets the world and hides the reality beneath it until it melts, so too with us.

Many times we make decisions unaware of what’s causing us to on the inside. Just like when snow blankets the world and hides the reality beneath it until it melts, so too with us. Our inner agendas, often made from unchecked out assumptions, become visible in our daily choices and behaviours. If reflected on, we come to understand even more what repetitive patterns are operating in us. Continue reading Why do we do what we do?

Patterns of Conflict

The way we fight today was learnt as a child

All of us are on a journey to become fully ourselves, yet at every step the world pressures us to conform and obey the system. It is here that much struggle inside us happens as we so need to feel we belong. Many simply give themselves over to an institutionalized system, but if we listen, our inner self continues to cry out, ‘No, this isn’t me!’ and resists being squeezed into something it’s not. For too long we’ve not stood our ground and said, ‘Yes’ when we should have said, ‘No’, or ‘No’ when we should have said, ‘Yes’. Our over-compliance to, or reaction against the system, causes conflict within us. Continue reading Patterns of Conflict

Our Mother’s Moulding

Understanding our mom’s past brings clarity and compassion to our own story

In order for each of us to become our own person we need to leave our mother’s force field. Co-dependence with her is easy and good as a starting point, but it’s not a good ending point.

To help young men and women with this journey to self-hood, many cultures have rituals which are significant both for the mother and her child. For us in the West, often all we get when we turn 21 is a key that doesn’t fit anywhere or open anything. For us it’s an ongoing process of learning to trust our way of seeing instead of always deferring to our mother’s opinion. This isn’t an easy shift as, for many of our growing years, her well-intentioned choices decided how we should behave in ways she felt were socially appropriate. We often conformed without question simply for fear of rejection or being ostracized. Continue reading Our Mother’s Moulding

Finding Healing for What We have Received

Our mother’s role in learning to trust ourselves

Our ability to relate is a learnt skill and all our lives we continue this journey of learning to relate. Our mother’s womb was a special place, a perfect environment where all our physical needs were met. Though we were tiny we read her emotional force field very well. When we registered negative emotions we developed patterns about our own ability to trust ourselves and the world around us.
Continue reading Finding Healing for What We have Received

Family Patterns

The patterns and roles we learnt from our upbringing have shaped each of us. These memories will hold us captive unless we make time to look at them.

These inner dynamics seem so ‘normal’ that we hardly realise they are there. We polish up our outer world to look good because we don’t know what to do with how we really think and feel on the inside. Continue reading Family Patterns