Tag Archives: Sergio Milandri

8 May – Sans Pareil Session: Moving to Self-Acceptance

When our dreams for ourselves get lost, we may well become hard on ourselves and on others who can’t live up to the images we carry. In our next Session we’ll explore the movement from disillusion to self-acceptance, and from self-loathing to self-loving.

Date: 8 May 2017. These Sessions take place on most Monday evenings.
Times: From 6 until 7 pm we’ll have a bring-and-share meal as a group in the Sans Pareil barn. From 7:15 for 7:30 pm until 9 pm Sergio will lead us in our core teaching, reflection, discussion and exercise times. Coffee and tea will be available afterwards.
Address: Sans Pareil, 1 Welbevind Way, Hout Bay, Cape Town.
Cost: R100 per person, paid at the door. Discounts are available if needed. No booking is required.
Extras: For the meal, please bring a plate for mains (not dessert) and a drink to share. Please bring a dish that doesn’t need to be heated.

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Befriending Depression

Learning to play all the keys of our heart’s piano

We all have times of feeling low. It helps to understand what these are saying. Since we haven’t listened to and resolved our little depressions, we don’t know how to process our big ones. As we learn to love ourselves more fully, we need to do for ourselves what wasn’t done for us. We are empowered as we come to accept who we really are.

We all know from our own (and others’) depression, that there is no magical ‘quick fix’. Continue reading Befriending Depression

Feel the Fear and Give it Containment

Often we identify with the feelings we have and make them so part of our identity that we can’t separate from them.  We say, for example, ‘I am angry,’ or ‘I am fearful,’ instead of, ‘Sometimes I experience anger or fear.’  We shape our thoughts, and receive them from others, but we are not our thoughts and feelings.  We need to take responsibility for every feeling.  They should not be our masters, but be our servants.

We often associate with having fear negatively.  We see it as something that we need to control and get rid of.  But all our feelings, including fear, are important messengers.  Continue reading Feel the Fear and Give it Containment

Loneliness or Aloneness

In order to become aware of the inner patterns and guiding images we all carry, we need to stop and look.  This will need times of being alone with ourselves in order to grow in wholeness.  This is essential so that we can also be there for others.  This aloneness is a transformative, ‘pregnant’ waiting.  It is not the same as loneliness, which carries with it feelings of lack, desperation and incompleteness.  We dare not postpone living, waiting for our dream to materialize and for our present life to pass.  This invitation to deepen intimacy with God and ourselves is done reverently, but not without fear.  Indeed, intimacy implies this as ‘in timor’ means ‘into fear.’ Continue reading Loneliness or Aloneness

Carriers of a Dream

Discovering God’s blueprint of who we bring to relationships

Each of us has been designed uniquely by our Creator. As the architect of a house creates a plan, so too, God the Master Architect has a blueprint in His heart for us. Whether we’re married or not, He invites us to trust His wisdom and love to guide us in the hard but worthwhile risk of becoming ourselves. Continue reading Carriers of a Dream

Risking Manhood

The expression of authentic manhood has become increasingly difficult in our society. These problems centre on men having a growing sense of frustration with not having a clear sense of meaning or purpose. As women develop more independence, the fear of becoming irrelevant can cause men to become depressed or abusive. This is often due to a lack of understanding of their true identity and their unique place in society.

Women have for some time been entering a new reality about their identity and their contribution to society. Changes in the way they see themselves and the options they have, are broadening their choices and giving many a greater sense of power and control.

Despite these interior shifts, women are still faced with hardened attitudes in parts of society, and especially in their relationships with men. Many communities still have an ethos of male control, despite noticeable changes in the views of many men.

Risking Manhood explores the seven risks which men traditionally have had to undergo to achieve authentic manhood. These form the basis for grounding the identity firmly within one’s unique self and for establishing life-giving relationships. Continue reading Risking Manhood

Needs Draw Us to Life

To be human is to have needs and the place where they’re nourished and restored is in relationships. However, if we’ve been hurt or disappointed, we may shut down and try the route of independence, saying, “I don’t need you.” Life and growth are always a risk and always involve an opening of ourselves to parts we might not yet be familiar with. But if we choose not to take this path, we will deaden and stagnate, our inner reality will shrink. Continue reading Needs Draw Us to Life

Light through the Cracks

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.”

Lyrics from Leonard Cohen in his song, ‘Anthem

As children we let our curiosity take us into unknown places to discover more about our world. If we were given freedom to explore, we learnt to take risks, if punished, to stay within known parameters. We also watched our parents make life choices which gave us our own feelings of what was possible or not. These feelings and behaviour patterns remain deeply engrained in us and as adults we are still either more cautious or are risk takers. Continue reading Light through the Cracks

Patterns of Conflict

The way we fight today was learnt as a child

All of us are on a journey to become fully ourselves, yet at every step the world pressures us to conform and obey the system. It is here that much struggle inside us happens as we so need to feel we belong. Many simply give themselves over to an institutionalized system, but if we listen, our inner self continues to cry out, ‘No, this isn’t me!’ and resists being squeezed into something it’s not. For too long we’ve not stood our ground and said, ‘Yes’ when we should have said, ‘No’, or ‘No’ when we should have said, ‘Yes’. Our over-compliance to, or reaction against the system, causes conflict within us. Continue reading Patterns of Conflict